It's the Emergency, Stupid

Remember Sept. 16th is a day of prayer, so pray your government pulls its head out soon.

"Ranger," is an honorary title of distinction bestowed on anyone who contributes or raises more than $200,000 for the Republican party. Rangers, Pioneers (starting at $100,000) and Super Rangers ($300,000 and up) are beginning their new jobs as diplomats all over the world, including prestigious European capitals.

Ronald Spogli, a "Pioneer" and investment advisor from California, is going to Rome. Craig Stapleton, a "Ranger" married to one of the president's cousins, will be moving to Paris. Great Britain will be trading in horse breeder William Farish for car dealer Robert Tuttle.

On August 15th William R. "Tim" Timken, a ball bearing manufacturer from Ohio (and, um, not a stranger to the Pentagon's no-bid contracts), was sworn in as Ambassador to the Federal Republic of Germany by Secretary Rice. The post has been vacant for six months since the term of Daniel Coates ended. One US diplomat expressed hopes that one day the US ambassador to Germany could go on German talk shows without having to rely on an interpreter.