Stolen from Margaret Marks

They don't have vanity plates here in Deutschland.

A Carpenter and a Joiner

I loathe people who can do nothing but critcize the looks of a female politician. Having said that, Angela Merkel has taken to wearing suits that--keeping traditional German clothing in mind--conjure up nothing so much as the image of an officious carpenter. Of course they wore corduroy and the eight buttons stood for solidarity in the fight for an eight hour day, but still...I would advise her to definitely avoid broad-brimmed, black hats.

Grapefruit Moon over a Williams Bros. Sky

Tom Waits is suing Opel. Wanna hear why?

Ampelmännchen

That would be little men on the traffic signals, actually it could be little man...without the article you have no way of knowing. This is the East German version, designed in 1961 by Karl Peglau, who thought that something anthropomorphic would be more effective (because you want that extra warm, fuzziness when you’re being held against your will in a police state). The Ampelmännchen was meant to convey "the confident stride of the enthusiastic worker advancing to a utopian, socialist future"―although the designer was initially worried that the hat was too bourgeois.

Osthits-dot-de has quite a few examples for sale...gummi (bears), ice cube trays, bottle openers, not to mention Volume 2 of the most beautiful songs (among them: "Our TV Tower") of the former East German Youth Group, whose motto was Seid bereit (be prepared).

My favorite is the "Biscuit engraver from rustproof high-grade steel (for a washer). Walker and stayer in the pair." Although I think I could also make use of the coffee mugs, which claim to be "to the equipment of all work, and non-employments, for coffee or other drinks suitably!"

You say Ex-Communist, I say post-Stalinist

Let’s call the whole thing off. Well, the polls didn’t close amid violence or anything, maybe next time. Here we go, the German political situation, it’s easy as Schwarzwälder Kirschtorte:


Up until this month the conservatives had the 50% majority required to govern.


Election results left no accepted coalition with more than 45%. The FDP (liberals...doesn't mean what you think it does), junior member of the conservative coalition, was the big winner with a much better result than expected. Gerhard Schröder was the big, big winner, as his party also did better than some expected...of course his coalition (red-green) currently has only 42.4%, but that’s not the point obviously. The 3.9% "Sonstige" (Other) is comprised of the nazi party and several other groups of varying degrees of crackpottedness, let’s just leave that vague and not talk about it.

I think the SPD is going to pick up "Die Linke" (The Left), even though they claim they absolutely will not. The left party is made up of the former SED (i.e., 'the' party of the former GDR...the only one there was, if you know what I mean) and the newly formed "Voters Alterative for Social Justice"—which is comprised of chunks of the SPD that defected. Most importantly, they are not comprised of Angela Merkel...it seems Gerhard Schröder will find this option most attractive in the end. No one else thinks it seems like this, I’m just saying...


Regardless of what any one faction of German voters claims it wants, justice probably will prevail in German politics...and this multi-multi-multi party system will reap what it has sown.

No I did not go to school with these people, stop flashing them at me. Seriously, one more animated ad and my ears are going to start bleeding. Hey, come to think of it...I did go to school with Jakob Böhme. That was before Görlitz High went all to hell. No wait, it was some other guy who had a revelation concerning the unity of existence inspired by the sun’s reflection in a pewter plate.

"Our last hope"

I just saw a campaign ad for the nazis. It featured an eagle (they're brown here), a catchy Wagner tune, xenophobia and violence. It was preceded by a disclaimer from the network (like any campaign ad), and followed by identification of the party. One gets the feeling that you can always count on having the choice between fascists and communists here...until one or the other gets the upper hand, of course. Then you have the leader of the country warning people not to choose the option of a nation full of 'elbowing' where 'people don't stick together'...I'm sorry, I come from a country that's world famous for its greed--it doesn't mean people can't stick together (they also have the ability to move out of each other's way when they pass on the sidewalk...an attribute I like to call "sozial"...and the concept of standing in line and waiting your turn actually exists). Stick together like what? A lead fishing weight? Unemployment ranges from 12 to 20% here, depending on which part of the country you're in.

It's the Emergency, Stupid

Remember Sept. 16th is a day of prayer, so pray your government pulls its head out soon.

"Ranger," is an honorary title of distinction bestowed on anyone who contributes or raises more than $200,000 for the Republican party. Rangers, Pioneers (starting at $100,000) and Super Rangers ($300,000 and up) are beginning their new jobs as diplomats all over the world, including prestigious European capitals.

Ronald Spogli, a "Pioneer" and investment advisor from California, is going to Rome. Craig Stapleton, a "Ranger" married to one of the president's cousins, will be moving to Paris. Great Britain will be trading in horse breeder William Farish for car dealer Robert Tuttle.

On August 15th William R. "Tim" Timken, a ball bearing manufacturer from Ohio (and, um, not a stranger to the Pentagon's no-bid contracts), was sworn in as Ambassador to the Federal Republic of Germany by Secretary Rice. The post has been vacant for six months since the term of Daniel Coates ended. One US diplomat expressed hopes that one day the US ambassador to Germany could go on German talk shows without having to rely on an interpreter.

How Eric Hansen's German...

Eric Hansen is a lapsed Mormon from the states. He's written a book (in German) called "The Nibelungen Journey -- Through the Middle Ages in a VW Bus"


He's been here for 18 years. He can speak German, at a decent pace with only a moderate amount of stumbling...and he sounds distinctly American.

The Nibelungenlied was commissioned around 1200 A.D. by a bishop in Passau (just east of here), and recounts legends about people from land near the Rhine (just west of here) dating from approximately 500 A.D.

Das Duell

Last night the first of two Chancellorial (?) debates was on. Unfortunately, they insist on calling it a duel even though the German language happens to include the perfectly good word...Debatte. I was surprised that Angela Merkel said at one point that Schröder would be out in a couple of weeks, and that she would be Chancellor (but it doesn’t seem to have struck a particularly noticeable chord with anyone else). New Orleans was mentioned, if only to indulge in backhanded U.S. bashing, but then it isn’t easy to communicate some of the idiosyncrasies of Americans to some Germans, so I do cut them some slack. You have to use the dictionary a lot, that’s for sure.


They do understand unsettling aspects of one’s own culture, however. It’s hard not to when you’re never more than about an hour away from a part of the country that—until the end of 1989—had the following emergency strategy all mapped out:


"...meticulous plans, current throughout the 1980’s, for the surveillance, arrest and incarceration of 85,939 East Germans, listed by name. On 'Day X' (the day a crisis, any crisis, was declared), Stasi officers in the 211 local branches were to open sealed envelopes containing the lists of the people in their area to be arrested.

The arrests were to be carried out quickly—840 people every two hours. The plans contained exact provisions for the use of all available prisons and camps, and when those were full for the conversion of other buildings: former Nazi detention centers, schools, hospitals and factory holiday hostels. Every detail was foreseen, from where the doorbell was located on the house of each person to be arrested to the adequate supply of barbed wire and the rules of dress and etiquette in the camps: armbands, 'green, 2 cm wide' for the oldest in the room, 'green, three stripes 2 cm wide' for the oldest in the camp, yellow with the letters 'SL' in black for Shift Leader to be worn on the left upper arm..."
(from Anna Funder’s "Stasiland—Stories From Behind the Berlin Wall")


Other than that it’s just endless summer here as usual in Bavaria.

Scary? Sure, but...

"Munich. Bavaria's State Minister for Internal Affairs Beckstein presented the half-yearly report by the Internal Security Agency today. Their main task is keeping checks on Islamist extremists, with more than 40 deported/ordered to leave the country during the past months. A 35-year old suspect Tunisian man in the high-risk category absconded in June, and has not been seen since. The Agency also keeps tabs on right-wing and left-wing extremists as well as the Scientology Organisation."